Can I hear an “oy”?
Making friends in the city can be extremely taxing (both emotional and physical). But in all seriousness, who can relate with me?
To all you metropolitan readers out there, I feel like we’re all on the same boat, no?
Well brother, that’s incredibly absurd.
It takes a certain kind of push to get the ball rolling. Whether that be a stingy realization that you have to approach people manually, or the idea of weeding out any sort of checklist for the “perfect friend.”
…because let’s be honest, that perfect friend does not exist. You’re not perfect, and the same goes with the rest of humanity.
I think one of the best things about friendship stimulates from the fact that people acquire different tastes and backgrounds. Hence the phrase “acquired taste.”
One of the tricks when meeting a potential friend is to avoid scratching the similarities, and rather, scout the singularities that make the other person stand out from the crowd.
So many times we try and find common ground right off the bat in order to continue to “phase two”, which is great in theory…
Here’s a no-brainer example. Think of the movie Mean Girls (of all movies, I know 🙄). Wouldn’t it be odd if everyone looked like Regina George or the popular jock in school (what’s his name again…)?
I mean dang, that would be extremely BORING.
God created us to be different in our own ways, our own quirky ways. You can be friends with a fellow football fanatic, but that doesn’t guarantee the same body build, skin tone, love for beer and video games and so forth and so on.
Maybe he’s a low-key softie with a knack for reading? And happens to be a football player back in college?
You never know! And that’s what I love about friendships.
So first order of business: be open to all personality types and appearances. Once we tackle the challenge and meet people outside the usual preference, then the possibilities are endless.
Back in primary school and college, 99.9% of my friends were preppy. My lady friends donning their maternal pearls at the age of 18, incessantly talking about spin class, and my guy friends sporting Peter Millar horsebit loafers while bantering football lingo.
It was fun while it lasted, but the entire thing felt so monotonous and transactional (also not enriching may I add). Simply put, I was in a bubble, surrounded by barbies and kens (and keep in mind I was the only asian of all my friend groups, oy).
Now that I live in a bigger city, there’s better opportunity for diversity. I need a bit of culture and challenge in my life. To try new things.
Here are three tactics I used to make new friends in the city: